Without Fear

There is a lot to be afraid of as a wife.

Many of those who know me personally have said that they admire me for what I've been through already. Seven years with a bipolar spouse has not been easy at times. And I suppose that I've made plenty of lemonade in those seven years.

But to me, the really frightening part starts now. My husband is healthy and whole, and for the first time, I can really start to be a Godly wife, not a caregiver or a counselor. And I find that, regardless of the fact that I gave up newlywed status a couple years ago, I have no Idea what I'm doing.

Some years ago I started a book. (Actually I started two books and a couple screenplays, but that is beside the point.) The Idea of it came to me because, as a newlywed, I couldn't seem to find any good books to help me out. As my dear friend says, that is what Librarians do, we look for the book that tells us how. Well, I couldn't find that book, so I started to write one, hoping that in the process I would learn something.

Apparently, I never found what I wanted to know, and here I am. Blogging is by no means a replacement for  books.  But I still have so much to say and so much I want to lean about being the kind of wife God wants me to be.


It occurred to me some time back to wonder why Paul exhorts wives to be without fear. And now that I've been doing this a while, I realize that there is a lot to fear. The world throws up reasons to fear my status, my husband, our relationship, God's plans, and even my own self. But perhaps the most frightening aspect of being a wife is understanding that I will change. Christian Marriage itself is a union of two persons into one, new person. Someone as new as a newborn, and just as fragile.

So my mission here is to look my fears in the face and find out who I am and who I'm meant to be. To explore new ideas and new attitudes. To boldly go where few wives have gone. I do not want to "give way to fear", but to "do what is right."

For some reason, I feel like I'm going out to face the lions.