I Volunteered to do a review of the Book "Voices of the True Woman Movement" on my blog, which I am very excited about. However, I find the book so full of rich content, It may take me a week or two to get an actual review done, as I am trying to get my head around everything. Meanwhile, I do have some thoughts today, inspired by a part I read his morning.

I've logged on several times to blog here, but found myself so mired in thoughts and feelings that I couldn't make any sense come out. I've been overcome lately not only with new emotions about my marriage, but with extreme frustration about my life in general. I feel stymied. I work in a just fine job, but I feel that all my God-given talents are being wasted, crushed out of me by "American Ideals" of materialism and money to which I cannot hope to aspire anyway, since this job doesn't pay the bills!

And I have found myself questioning, not what God wants me to do, necessarily, but what, really is the point of all this? I feel like my life, most especially my marriage, is being consumed by this entity of a job that is overwhelming me with frustration. And if I could see a reason, at least I could persevere in it.

So this morning I read this line From Nancy Leigh DeMoss's chapter, and, well read it:
"That means that every circumstance that comes into your life and mine, including even severe loss and testing, comes into our lives through the filter of His Sovereign hand." and later in that paragraph: "In fact, to resist or resent the situation and circumstances in which you find yourself is ultimately to resist and resent God Himself."

And I realise that Me seeing the reason is not important. Me trusting that God has His own reasons is what's important. I am not the center of the universe, and If God wants to use me where I am, my attitude is certainly not helping. A friend of mine told me over a year ago that God wants us to learn to be content where He puts us. I have thought of that many times, but never really tried to do it.God cannot use me anywhere if I continue in this stubborn, self-centered spirit. The creation of the New Me is being thwarted by my own resentful, whining attitude.

I confess that a small part of me is thinking, "Great, learn this lesson, and then He can finally move you out of this situation!" But I know that is Old me thinking. I must learn to be, if not content, at least assured that I am in His hand wherever he puts me. I must Trust the Lord for everything. I already, literally, trust Him every day for my daily bread. Now I must trust more. I must trust that He is doing more than just sustaining, that he is growing me. I must trust that He gave me my gifts and talents for a reason, and that He has a plan for using them.

I've not thought seriously yet on how this will apply to my marriage, but let's face it, my steadfast, supportive husband could do with a little less whining from me. If I learn, not contentment necessarily, but Trust in my God, it can't help but improve every aspect of my life. Of Our life.